The Royal has cometh ...

there a times when one feels low and while away time thinking about the opportunities "that could have been taken" or the things "you could have done something about and didn't" or the moment you felt like "you want to say what is on your mind and did not utter a word"....... well this is one of those times ... i'm taking this time ... doing something about it .... and going to pen what's on my mind ...!!

Kottaram is back ... and how?!?!

Its interesting when you think about how Kottaram has impacted the lives of people across the world (more or less). Lets leave that hanging for a bit - I'll save the global impact shpeel for a later post!

But yes - he's back and amidst conflicting reports, random sightings and mixed feelings, it really feels good to hear from him after such a long while.

the conflicting reports .... here are a few....

• just back from a world tour.. finally touching down in good ol india to visit the kottaram.
• apparently Kottaram's with Braclays as a QA manager in UK- Nice job - you guys @ braclays. just the thing your investors need right now to instill confidence in your investors while the global financial world is practically melting down -- which probably also explains the world tour. Deja vu, anyone?
  
• it appears he's also going to be working here in india ... from yet another unconfirmed source ..:-)
• there are also reports of him being seen at his former workplace ... and yet somehow kottaram stopped just short of reaching out to his regulars ....
  

there's more and it requires me to use my grey matter to process all the information in a logical manner and put it down ... I'll try my best though, I promise!

which brings us back to the matter of importance - the Crown - yes the Kireedom( crown in malayalam). Who is wearing the crown this day...?!

Every month (actually every day) we revist the crown and identify the person who should be carrying the torch. The flame - he who carries the crown also carries moral responsiblity of being contacted by Kottaram and is most likely the bearer of the latest from the tales of kottaram! the flame, torch, crown - gets passed on to the newest person who comes back with the latest on the royal highness..... and it looks like the crown is being carried by a friendly neighborhood pal from marthahalli! :-):-)

So the workplace was abuzz with the news from kottaram - everyone was talking about it, his ex-teammates, project mates and of course, the-week-in-the-knees ladies !

The world is all of a sudden a very normal place. This moment brings back that extra smile back to everyone.

Good Day everyone! Hopefully there will be more to share in the future .......

where are u highness ?

Alright , its almost an year - but still royal drama continues to influence my thoughts and still stands clear in memory than any other real life or close to real life stories. Last royal decree just declared that 'highness is in somewhere in old Czech / Slovak area ...it was coneyed to no one but our french revolutionist panicker. Where are u highness ?

More Classmates ...!

After having successfully introduced ya'll to Kottaram's first classmate, its time to introduce you to the rest of his classmates ... :-))

Kottaram hails from one of the most affluent families in trivandram. He belonged to the house of Kowdiar. He had the royal blood in him. Along with the blood, came the gift of the gab - which we can't stop raving about, but that's a story for another post!!

Kottaram spent most of his formative years in Delhi - where he spent time with his family members and went to school and college.

School happened to be very traumatic experience considering that he was a person of royal lineage and there were security risks associated with sending a royal kid to school along with mere mortals.

So thus came a gentle admission from Kottaram that most of his schooling was done in THE DOON School!

Just to give you everyone a small brief regarding the doon school - it still continues to be the favourite destination for all the politicos, army men, coporate bigwigs to send their kids to Doon school to give a gentle formation to their years ahead in life.

Kottaram as modest as he was gently reminded us that he studies with the likes of Rahul Gandhi, Sachin Pilot and Jyothiradtiya Scindia.

Sachin and Scindia happened to be very close to Kottaram and to this day also stay in touch with them .....

So while more people were getting added to the now-famous Illichavayans list, a lot more tales of friendship and brotherhood were being spawned out by Kottaram.

With the list of celebrities and personalities growing at a steady pace, keep watching this space for more tales .... the more the merrier!!

Classmates!!!!

Welcome back!
Just recalled another interesting occurance from the "tales of Kottaram" repository! :-)

This one dates back to the good 'ol 80's and requires as much patience as the ability to keep a straight face while reading this.

Ok. where do I start?

It was around 2 months after Kottaram joined the workplace and spent around the first few months in an unassuming and nondescript existance till one day we got the first peek into Kottaram's colorful life.

Kottaram started his day with replying to a lot of emails and loud conversations on the cell phone.

One conversation went on like this (you might think that there was eavesdropping going on but Kottaram was just plain loud and that's the only truth).

Kottaram [after dispensing with the regular hi and hello's, gets on with ...]: Oh! you're coming down to bangalore?

Kottaram [brief pause..]: good man .. it would be great to meet up ... after a long time.

Kottaram [a very brief pause..]: of course.. I don't know where the tv channel office is .. but we can find out. Call me when you get here. take care.

..And he settled down in his seat to continue with his perusal of his daily emails.

as a very brief time passes by he gets up and pointedly asks his neighbor the question ..

Kottaram: do you know where the Star office is?

Good 'ol Neighbor: No - I don't know.

Nosey Parker Neighbor: Hey - I know where it is. the Star office right, they have something on lavelle road.

Kottaram: can you tell me how to get there? I'll need to drive someone down there in the next few days.

Nosey Parker Neighbor: Sure!! [taking a sheet of pen and paper, proceeds to draw a detailed path of getting to lavelle road]

Kottaram: thanks man .. I'm sure I won't have a problem finding the place.

Nosey Parker Neighbor [turns around... pauses briefly ... and then jumps up to enquire]: why are you going to the Star office? You can't get a job there :-)) [desperatly trying to get some information out of Kottaram..].

Kottaram: oh .. nothing .. my friend is coming down and she wanted to go to the star office. you know ... barkha expects me to take her there and I don't want to tell her .. i don't know where the place is ...

Nosey Parker Neighbor [catches on to the obviously emphasised word and ... ]: Barkha? Barkha who?

Kottaram [in a matter-of-fact way] : Barkha Dutt! Who else?

Nosey Parker Neighbor [doesn't believe the guy but what the heck..? ]: who is barkka dutt ...?

Kottaram [ jaw dropping moment .. ]: man .. you don't know her ... she is the ace tv reporter .. blah blah blah ... kargil .... more blah ... and blah .... yea.. she is awesome..

Nosey Parker Neighbor [not to be outdone ... ]: sure I know barkha Dutt!! I just wasn't sure if we were talking about the same person. [yea right ... like we all don't know .... what you are up to].

Nosey Parker Neigher [Not one to give up and wanting to deflect attention from the fauz paus ventures out with .. ]: how do you know barkha? [we're on first name .. reference aren't we? ]

Kottaram [ with the confidence of a 1000 elephants]: she was my classmate and a good friend ... we all studied at St. stephans - barkha, my wife and I.... all best buddies. she was there for my wedding too..

Nosey Parker Neighbor[ Stunned... momentarily .. but recovers to ask .. ]: umm .. so how come she is your classmate .. you guys don't seem to be of the same age group ..

Kottaram [ not one to be bothered by details .. ]: well .. she was my wife's classmate ... and I got to know her quite well .. during the time i was going around with my wife.

Nosey Parker Neighbor [ gives up now ... ]: wow! nice. would it be possible for me to meet her too .. ?

Kottaram [ comes up with a nice and final touch .. ]: sure ... let her get here ... i'll invite you over for some drinks ...

and there started one of the first few invites and promises for meeting up for drinks with a personality cum classmate.

To this day, no one knows if Kottaram knew Barkha Dutt or Barkha knew his wife, but the confidence with which it was presented laid the foundation for more stories to come .... on the classmates track.

Sure its great to meet a celebrity, its even great to meet someone who knows a celebrity and its even more condescending if you know someone who knows the celebrity's email address!!

:-))

A few good "Illichavayans"..!!

For those of you who are un-familiar with the terminology and yet curious to know what the title means, here's a small thumb down meaning of the word.

Illichavayan(s) - by definition would probably mean - one who has the word "moron" written all over his face. So much so that the person talking to him/her would get the idea that he/she can be taken for a ride at any time or place. A cool dude or dudette! A finely polished individual who is highly regarded in his/her profession of choice. A superbly confident yet tad bit gullible at times, oh wait, make that- gullible at all times.

Yes - an Ilichavayan was what Kottaram was looking for when he first joined befriended most of the people in the motley crowd of i/t professionals.

It all started 2 yrs ago when Kottaram relocated from the capital in the middle of hindi heartland, fell in love, got hitched and moved to india's silicon valley.

Kottaram did not waste any time in the land of indian overseas opportunities. He wound up in the midst of some of the most highly competitive and focussed group of individuals working for a company that made direct selling the mantra for the most part of the 90's and early 21'st century.

Ahh .. it is here that he discovered the new breed of high-tech professionals - the "Illichavayans"!!

At the risk of sounding totally modest and completely shallow, I have to say that during the initial days the now famous kottaram stories were told to only a few select, hand-picked and extemely powerful individuals. I'm definitely one of them and I aim to get underneath the skin of the illichavayan character!

The interesting thing about these people that while they were all very hard-working, intelligent individuals, they had one small flaw - that is, curiousity!! These groups of people were told random stories separately. At first they were in awe - of the story, of the person narrating the story, of the people being mentioned in the story. It probably might have been Harry Potter reloaded but this wasn't fiction from a book - it was a direct narrative and that made it interesting and funny at the same time.

As time went by, the awe made way for cautious sarcasm sprinkled with utter disbelief as the stories became more and more implausible and difficult to digest for the people who heard it.

And as more time went by, the sarcasm made way for impatience and this is where all hell broke loose. Suddenly through the time tested methods of sharing information, some of the folks tentatively started exchanging their stories with other souls who might not have heard them. One thing led to another and in quick succession there was a devastating domino effect. As the stories kept coming in, everyone realized that Kottaram was a gem. An artiste of rare calibre. A painter with master strokes. A Storyteller who could spin a yarn out of every conceivable piece of thread. A person with a rare combination of guts and gall who lived life on the edge. He had an answer for everything.

This is where the Illichavayans took shape and form. The goal - to find the most gullible person of them all. Many have come and gone but whoever hears the biggest and most outrageous story is given due credence.

While we really haven't found the most outrageous stories yet, we aim to provide some of the articles in the upcoming days.

Till then lets welcome the new breed of people - the "Illichavayans"!

Allo? Allo? Lalletan's coming!!!

Our dear little friend - who i have affectionately addressed in all my posts has been re-christened as "Kottaram". I intend on getting into the skin of the character later but here's a quickie .......

A little birdey got a phone call one day ...............

after the initial pleasantries were exchanged - pop came the question!!

[ No No - no one's getting married here . .... stopping asking questions and read on .. ]

Kottaram: Do you want to see lalletan?

Birdey: [ignorance is bliss!!] Lalletan? Who's lalletan?

Kottaram: [Gasp] Don't you know Lalletan? you must be joking ....

Birdey: [Replies tersely in a very matter-of-fact way] No i don't know lalletan, who is he?

Kottaram: [excited now, proceeds to break the suspens] Lalletan is Mohanlal! All the fans address Mohanlal as lalletan.

Birdey: [Still Not impressed, honestly doesn't care, but still trying to be polite ventures to ask .. ] Okay ... what's with Lalletan?

Kottaram: [takes a deep breath .. he is going to drop the bomb heree ..] Lalletan is coming to my house this week. so if you want to see lalletan, you can come over to my house.

Birdey: [speechless ... Not sure how to proceed with this... asks a very leading question] What is lalletan coming to your house for?

Kottaram: [lets out a chuckle .... he must be tired of answering all these questions ... ] Lalletan's wife wants to see my daughter. So lalletan is driving her over!! While lallentan is at the house, you can also come over and meet with Mohanlal!!!

:--))

how much is too much .. ?

our friend bought a villa 2 yrs ago! Not a big deal in a land where every 3 people out of 5 has a home loan which they argue helps them to save paying income tax to the government.

so what's the fuss all about you might ask?

Well, this villa is cute homely place, tucked away in one corner in what one would call the heartland of I/T land.

our dear friend, recently decided to put in the market. We hear a lot of influential people have lined up for a look & see and frantic negotiations were happening steadily.

After a couple of negotiations, we hear its been finally sold - for, hold your breath, take a deep breath ---- a whopping 1.2 crores!!!

For those of you who might eventually end up reading this, get a life!!
... and for those of you who are living in downtown marthahalli or will be moving in nearby areas of marthahalli - take a hint!